review of conf (even if it's only the first paragrf!!hehe)- 12th july

Conference was a blast…tho at the beginning I was reallie reluctant to go; that was during my Faye Wong, Chungking Express and pineapples period, and I guess at that time, I still couldn’t get over what happened wif Mr X, I tried to push it aside but at this point in time I have to admit…it did affect me, it affected me more deeply than I anticipated. I’d be kidding myself if I said I’m fine now and I’m ready to move on…I guess I’m still in the process of recovering…it feels like the day where I’ll be able to let go will never come. But I guess it would all come in time…in the meantime, I’ve still got Faye Wong, pineapples and in addition…shopping!!!

It’s strange, cos everytime before I fly off to somewhere…I get this doomed feeling, like I don’t wanna go... Airports and I have this love-hate relationship; the prob is, I’m always the one leaving, it’s like, yeah I can just pack and go, just like that. It’s scary cos sometimes I wonder if I do indeed care for the ppl I’m leaving, then I think about it, yeah I do, I feel sad and my heart is aching for having to leave them but I need to go, I need to leave u.

So how does this work? I have to say tho, leaving the ppl I love has made me treasure and love them even more and now they are my precious…I can now see my mum’s beauty and attributes; she’s a funny woman…before I could never figure her out but as I grow and experience life even more, I feel what she feels. I realized I’ve begin to understand her…coming to perth has made me closer to her than ever before but the fact that I had to hurt her in order to understand her scares me, the consequences of one person’s actions can sometimes be so powerfully evil…