Ja Matta

I am leaving yet again. This time to Macau then Zhu Tai in Guangzhou. My companions? Gua Mah & Gua Kong (my maternal grandparents). But it's only for 2 weeks...i shall survive, even though lodging is the hospice where ppl die almost every nite, wailing in misery N torment. Well, least I've shopped myself out and mamaked so much i'm pretty much over teh o ais limau, actuali, scrap dat, reckon i cld still go on for another month of it...man, dat and M lights, and my stoner kaki's wld be perfect. Haih yah, in denial, in this respect i dun reckon it's a good thing. n i hv yet to mentally prepare myself for the horror. It'd be good to see Sze Han in Macau though (hehe, very cute guy cousin who's working at the casinos there).

jus read his blog...both of 'em actuallie. can't say which i like more. can't say i like any of them. it breaks my heart. i remember asking him if it was hard being where he was. and it struck me...god, it's tough. freakin tough. neways, i try hard not to be emo. like i was freakin worried n frustrated for the past 3 days 'cos i'd no news of him, cos like...tiffy's so smart rite...she finishes up her all her fone credits bar RM0.03 when she can...ditto for the cash and runs up a huge credit card bill. so obviously, not in the good graces of her wonderful parents. by 1.20 a.m. of Wed, 5th Jan, it was officially 3 days since i'd talked to him. I'm thinking, is it better to not talk to him and then be all bitchy and stereotypical, not to mention judgemental (but only to a certain extent cos can't take dat shite) as deprived of his voice or to have talked to him and then be all loserish & lovesick after. reckon i shld quit listening to chihiro...altho she's freakin comforting, she makes me bleed.

it's 3pm...my flight leaves at 7.4opm...hv to leave for the airport at 5pm but haven't packed...will do so ...soon. yeah like i said...there's a reason why procrastination is wat it is...yeah whatever i need a fag.

Miss List

1) Merchant's grande cap

2) his sweet smelling skin

3) my life w/o family responsibilities...it's a not a burden but it's getting to be a heavy obligation

4) Watching Bridget