Day 2 in this puzzling Chinese land. 9th Jan 2005

Pros and cons of Blogging

PROS

1) I can vent vent vent!!! Tho ‘ahem’ I hardly do. Saying fuck in every sentence is not considered venting is it?

2) I know what day it is and how many days I have left in this jungle of a country. I am down to 12 days. Yeepee do dah.

3) I can allow my ‘creative juices’ to flow.

4) I don’t hv to repeat my ‘adventures’ during catch ups wif stoners dat read my blog.

5) saves fone bills…we’re connected thru cyber literature…however shitty dat sounds.

CONS

1)I don’t always get access to the net and if I do most of my posts are in my notebook…broadband is scarce.

2) ppl u dunno, knoe’s wat’s goin on in ur life and secretly bitches abt u.

3) it’s obssessive and can get to the point where u wanna do sumthin jus so u can update ur stoopid blog. Yeah, it’s happened to me…but I’m over it so it’s cool. Besides I haven’t dun anything too dumb or extreme…I jus…exaggerate. Not all the time tho mind u! and no, Mun, am not a drama queen. Am cool, calm and collected. Really.

4) u tend to exaggerate mundane facts or spice up ur dull routine so ppl will actuallie read ur blog. Rite tink it’s been stated before but yeah it’s a hugely important factor.

5) I’m out. It’s taking too much brain power to think of anymore.

it’s 3.20 pm. Achievements? I have managed to find a place dat sells coffee! Even tho it means freezing in the cold (cos I’ve gotta sit outside if I wanna fag). And I hv made frens wif an uncle who sold me a fake fone card. 50 yuan mind u. will go back tomoro and give him a piece of my mind…ok, I prolly won’t , I’ll prolly be all apologetic and loserish and politely ask him why the bloody thing did not work. Amount of failed missions? One. Still cannot find the bloody post office. Everyone keeps telling me it’s in a green building…but every bloody building down dat street is green and I walked and walked and walked and then started stomping…but to no avail. For goodness sake, can’t a fone agent sell stamps and have the postbox rite in front of it. Is dat not convenient? Dun convenience mean anything to them?

Observations

1) Women in Zhu Hai do not, I repeat, do not, smoke. Only the men do. I hv yet to spot a woman dat smokes…openly. I’m guessing a woman’s reputation is bloody important here.

2) Children here are considered treasures. They get the most beautiful clothes and yummiest food whilst the elders dress in daggy flower prints and pointy old shoes. Aiya, the effects of the one child policy! U get spoilt obese kids dressed in pretty clothes.

3) Zhu Hai women have a penchant for flesh coloured tights dat make their legs look plastic and mannequinish. And white lace ard the ankles are considered fashionable, I’m thinking dat the guys here think it’s sexy, so it’ll be like they’re actually looking at real skin during winter!

4) Everyone owns at least 3 pairs of blazers. Colour of choice? Grey. Very corporate, no?

5) Pedestrians do not give a shite abt automobiles; the trick to crossing the road is to jus cross.

6) Horns are sounded extensively. For instance, before turning out on to the road, they horn, before parking, they horn again, as they are driving they jus horn. Sumtimes for no reason at all and sumtimes to remind u (the pedestrian) dat they’re the ones with the weapon. Defensive driving indeed.